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Rob’s reflection on beating Blues, flaming marvellous

What a nice sunny day it was as we arrived at Villa Park at just after 10.30am. A decent gathering of VT-ers had turned out, and a few cans of el cid were quaffed. First amusing sight of the day was a bloke who must have been 60, walking down Witton Lane in a bright blue shell suit with cropped trousers, and what looked like brogues. He had grey hair in an Elvis stylee and some sort of moustache. About 30 people were pointing at him and pissing themselves from the Holte car park. I have pictures somewhere, will try and dig ‘em up!

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Next to bring a few smirks was Sit Down Potato Head (aka Guy)…who bravely turned up in a pink shirt…….I really do have my doubts about him. Anyway, we headed in and the atmosphere was tasty. We have had a good season in the Lower North, and have had a goal at our end by the Villa almost every game. Unfortunately not today though. Still, I made the time fly by having fun abusing Joe Tart and Bullshit Gardner. Shame someone had to complain about my colourful language to a steward at half time. Funny, I even commented about it and warned people to bring earplugs in my previous posting. Considering we were playing our hated enemy I’m amazed anyone could be arsed to go grizzling about a few naughty words. Anyway, the steward was definitely on my side so we’ll forget all about that bit!

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As the game headed towards a 0-0 stalemate, Gabby chased a through ball into the box and was scythed down by Johnson (remember him having an epileptic fit on the pitch at Sty Blandrews? What a tool), and the ref pointed to the spot – UPROAR! Villa fans went apeshit…..and apeshit is an apt description of the small heath players as they assumed the role of angry babboons in front of the ref, Johnson and in particular Carr stepping way over the mark. Weasel faced Bowyer was at this point trying to wind up Jimmy Milner, who was waiting to take the kick. Carr twice tried to scuff up the penalty spot with his studs……he then got carded. In all it was a 2 minute wait til the kick could be taken. And then it was – STRAIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE AND IN! Mayhem ensued! What a fucking sweet spot kick………the knuckledraggers were now looking pretty sad and dejected. Just how I like it.

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Villa played out the final 7 minutes, and another 4 added (fuck knows where they came from) with no serious threat, and at the final whistle we all hugged each other and gave the vermin a few choice comments. It was at this point that Carr, supposed “captain” of the Scum, thought it’d be clever to aim a wanker signal at the Villa fans as he walked off, hahahahahaa, what a complete fucktard! A million cameras at every game and he thought he’d get away with that? I bet they’re really fucking proud of him at The Sty, seriously. He’ll probably get a two year contract on the back of that. But once again victory to Villa, and defeat for the darkside, just how it should be.

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The only drawback of beating small heath on a lovely sunny Sunday is that EVERYONE want a beer afterwards, and for the first time this season we couldn’t get in the Holte Suite. In fact we couldn’t get in the Adventurers either so drove up to The Mitre Ale House in Nechells, where I can report cracking barmaids, friendly Villans and decent ale – will certainly go there again!
But you know what?
I’d STILL prefer the knuckledraggers to get relegated! SHIT ON THE CITEEEEEEEEE!

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Hugely amusing that the inbreds are still grizzling about the penalty………even Graham Poll said the decision was correct. Just makes it all the more funny that they think they were robbed. More fun to be had yet, as Epileptic Johnson has got an hearing about his comments on the ref. Meanwhile Babboon features Carr has also been charged and has got Plod looking into his shenanigans, typical scummer captain. Fucking lovin’ it! I hope these lot are still there next season, the flukes will all dry up and they’ll be totally shafted!

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My mate Brad who came with us to the game, took a rock from his garden into work on Monday. He called a couple of Noses over, turned the rock and pointed at the bottom.
“Can you see ‘em?” he asked.
“Duh….see what?” said the knuckledraggers.
“All the Noses” he replied, “they’ve all gone back under this stone!”
Bahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!

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3 comments on “Rob’s reflection on beating Blues, flaming marvellous

  1. Class as ever Rob………and i thought I was most foul mouthed in the Lower north……I’ll let you have all the accolades Dude….

  2. Rob, you cheeky bastard !

    I might’ve been sporting a pink t-shirt, but 10p says I’ve seen a ladies’ front bottom a lot more recently than you! And, no, on the internet doesn’t count either!

    Anyway, you big bollocks you – I’ve forgotten what a pakora tastes like so get fryin’ !!

  3. I’ll have the nosh against Blackburn mate – as long as ye leave the pink shirt at home ;-)

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