Sometimes I fucking hate football.
OK…….not many Villans would have put money on Villa winning at Wankford Bridge, but I can guarantee absolutely fucking NO ONE could have forecast a seven goal belting. And at half time we were hugely unlucky to be 2-1 behind as the referee seemed yet another Big Four Homer. It all went to shite after the break though. Seven fucking one. And they left Drogba on the bench!!!
Obviously we will now have our revenge at Wembley, Pompey will beat Spuds and we’ll piss the FA Cup.
Yes…….I am on drugs.

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We get raped, and typically every other result went against us, with Spuds, Liverplop and Man Citeh all winning. I know it aint over til the chubby tart sings but I’ve pretty much given up on 4th. Wouldn’t be shocked if Everton sneaked in, but my money would be on Man Citeh

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And following our worst defeat in decades, a painfully bad radio station and a terribly awful Red Top are running stories that our manager has handed in his notice and will quit at the end of the season. Someone, somewhere is really stirring the shit and trying to unsettle things on the Good Ship Villa. I wish they’d fuck off.

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Well there’s a surprise….Martin O’Neill is still our manager for the trip to Notlob. We need to erase last weeks fuck up with a good solid performance today. And that’s basically what we did. A 1-0 win is nowt to be sniffed at, and Ash scored a top, top quality goal. And the fans gave the manager 100% vocal backing. Good news was Spuds lost, hahaha. Bad news was Man Citeh are now clear in 4th, and with the Yids having to still face the Top 3 that last Chumps League spot is Citeh’s to lose.. Bastards. Liverplop couldn’t beat small heath at The Sty either – a draw was about the only result I could have stomached.

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Oh dear oh dear…….I can’t believe some of these “sports journalists” get paid to come out with some of the complete and utter fucking bollocks that they do – and it always seems to be about us. Latest “story” in the Sunday rags has Mark Hughes taking over the Villa Park hot seat next season. I’ll tell you what lads, why don’t you fuck off and “write” about the clowns down at Bordesley? I’m sure you’d get a few laughs in the process.

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Two days after Chelsea beat a Shrek-less Man Ure at the Theatre Of Rapists, THIS comment was the top headline on BBC Sport website: “Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti says Premier League title rivals Manchester United are a weaker side without striker Wayne Rooney.”
Well, duh……ye don’t fucking say? I’d never have considered that Carlo, you must be some sort of footballing and tactical genius to come out with stuff like that.

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The waves of spunk emanating from the North East will tell you that Newcastle have been promoted back to the top flight. Oh how I’ve missed them. I really have. Watching their fans fight amongst themselves, piss and puke everywhere, and show their hairy unwashed arses through the coach windows as they approach Villa Park is undoubtedly a highlight of any football supporters season. Welcome back, Neanderthals.

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Excuse me while I have a good laugh – BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
That’s better.
The cause of my merriment was the TV cameras capturing the utter gloom and dejection of the Norwich-scarf-wearing wankers who inhabit the Theatre Of Rapists. Oh the joy as they all look about to burst into snivelling tears. All because a superb Arjen Robben goal has put them out of the Chumpions League. Deep, deep joy. The TV commentator sounded as gutted as those dirty cockney Mancs looked. Oh dear, I think I’m going to piss myself in a minute.
Well done Bayern Munchen – and a bit of retribution to all those mouthy gobshites who were giving it the big ‘un at Wembley against us (while their team were about to lift the Cup they were outside gobbing off, fucking cretins). You deserve to win absolutely fucking nowt.

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Oh well, that’s it for now – I am preparing meself for a second visit to the blot on the landscape known as Wembley. Let’s hope Villa can conjure up a bit of claret and blue magic on Saturday!