Well Gareth Barry has sent us a ‘heartfelt’ letter here is my reply to him

Dear Gareth,

I read your parting note in the mail and I am touched by the fake sincerity of the note.

We knew last summer and you told us in the News of the World that you were were parting due to a deep desire to play in the champions league. We did not like this but accepted the pull of a club like Liverpool.

However you stayed, but somehow we knew your heart was set on Mersey side to play with your best mate Stevie G we accepted you would leave us in the summer. However it is a mighty shock to see you depart for a team 4 places lower than us and not even in Europe. You are edging towards 30 now, it is unlikely that you get CL within two years, therefore we can only conclude that you see the £ signs and decided it was time to go.

We don’t mind if you told us the truth that it was for the money, I wonder if Ashley Cole gave you some advice on that ? But we can not abide the lie you have told us and I hope you enjoy the hot reception to Villa Park next season because on £100k a week I doubt you care as you should do and we do.

Regards,
Ian